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RT Ep. 56: War is Magic Part 6.5

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"Can't we just go back to when we ate grass?!" Alternate Applejack called out. "Or mud. If yer' me."

Despite that little comment, Twilight was met with cheers and an overall joyous reception. The transformed unicorn just smiled and nodded her head again.

"You did it, Twi! You beat yourself!" Dash exclaimed.

"Best light-show I've ever seen!" Thundercracker said.

"Nice wings! Can I have some Maelstrom energy?" Pinkie asked. "I'll be good!"

"Remember? Twilight said it was painful. Probably not worth it." Fluttershy said to the party pony.

"Such beautiful wings! A pity about one of them though. Best of wishes." Rarity said.

"Not that I don't like it, but is that form forever?" Applejack asked.

"Probably not." Twilight said. "I can feel my power fading, therefore I've exhausted enough of it, so I'll turn to normal in a few minutes."

"Guess we can go home now?" Rick asked. He was now just a head with some skin and muscle missing, but it was good enough for him to speak.

"Of course." Twilight said. "I'll just ask Sir."

"Look! Our new god!" Alternate Fluttershy pointed to Twilight. The Alternate ponies began making nonsensical noises as they headed over to her and bowed to the Draconian being.

"Everypony, please." She held up her hands. "I'm no god. I only wanted to protect the innocent. That's what me and my friends do. I'm sure you can do the same when we leave."

"But...we need something to guide us besides Celestia! We can't function as a society!" Alternate Fluttershy persisted.

"Yeah. We're kind of doomed." Alternate Pinkie said. "Life sucks."

"I know, right?" Alternate Dash shivered.

"Chill out! You have each-other, you know." Dash responded.

"Yeah! You can work together to rebuild your town! We might even stop by every so often to help out and boost morale!" Pinkie created a balloon animal of the entire town as she said this.

"There's no need to cling to deities and such." Fluttershy put a hoof around her Alternate. "Just believe in yourself and your friends. With that, there isn't any mountain you can't scale."

"Perhaps this experience will help you all grow up as people." Rarity said. "Your families and your children's families will benefit from this."

"Yep. That's what you should become." Applejack said. "Family. Do your best. Don't get too clingy."

"Wow. You don't hear this in Decepticon training." Thundercracker scratched his head.

"They're all exactly right." Twilight leaned in for the Alternates. The Evaders, out of curiosity, got to be the closest to her. "Some of you already know what it feels to truly care for your fellow pony, dragon, griffin, or what not. Everypony...no. Everyone is different. Everyone is unique. Because we...are like snowflakes."

"Okay, THAT'S corny." Rick sighed. "Just because you have superpowers now doesn't mean you can act like a Hallmark card."

"You want me to wake up Sixshot?" Applejack asked Twilight.

"Probably not wise." Twilight said. "Anyway, can you promise us that you'll all learn to become loyal, empathetic, compassionate, generous, and honest ponies when we leave?"

"We...we promise." Alternate Rarity said as she hugged her sister.

"I can't imagine a better day." Alternate Pinkie smiled as she hugged Alternate Dash, who finally smiled after so long.

"This is so beautiful." Rarity observed.

"It sure is." Dash said.

"I can't wait to visit and see what becomes of this." Fluttershy replied.

"And now..." Rick said as he was picked up by Twilight. "We can all welcome home, sweet-"

BLAM!!!

"D'OH!!!" He shouted as he was interrupted by a hoof emerging from the rubble.

It was Alternate Twilight. However, she looked horribly worse for wear. Her hair was utterly burnt, her skin cut and bruised, one of her legs missing, her horn cracked, one eye was black, and the leg where her ring was worn was gangrenous.

"No...none of this makes sense." Alternate Twilight panted. "I was supposed to win! I had all the Maelstrom energy I could ask for! What held me back?! None of you, not even your stupid copy, could have had THAT much power!"

"Enough tired anime references I'm sure you're duly familiar with!" Rick shouted at her. "Remember that ring Kalameet gave you, apparently? I can see that. That's the Calamity Ring. It DOUBLES damage, for Pete's sake! No wonder you fumbled."

Alternate Twilight's pupils began to shake with unbridled fury. Her teeth gritted so much that they looked like they were going to break. She grabbed her ring, pulled it off, and threw it to the ground. She began to stamp on it like a toddler, screaming all the way.

"I think she cracked." Dash said.

"At least she's not dangerous anymore." Fluttershy said.

"THIS ISN'T OVER, YOU IDIOTS!" Alternate Twilight yelled. "I'll be back! You need me! You all need me! This entire world needs me! I won't accept this! I WON'T!"

"---Leave. Or be terminated---" Alternate Sweetie Belle said, her voice getting deeper with each word.

"Am I the only one who's noticing my sister's a robot in this universe?" Rarity awkwardly said.

"---I think you were talking about mine. I love her, but her acting leaves much to be desired---" The machine said obliviously before receiving a slight glare from her sister. "---Sorry---".

"NO! I'm going back to my library and writing a hate-fic!" Alternate Twilight whined as she ran to her residence. "It has all of you dying!!! ESPECIALLY YOU, FAKE ME! YOU....YOU..." She stopped at her entrance. "...You c*Buy Some...Aw, what the heck am I doing.*t."

Everyone stared at her, appalled at that last remark.

"Oh, yeah. I got the last word." Alternate Twilight said smugly.

SMASH!

Like a kaiju Kool-Aid-Man, Phil burst through the library, destroying it. Rubble and dust was covering him, but here he stood. He roared to the air in fury before setting his sights on a screaming Alternate Twilight. His arms quickly grabbed her, his blades sinking a bit into her flesh.

"NOOOOOOOO!!! I'M THE PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT! I'M THE GOD!!! I'M THE GOD!!! NOT YOU!!!" Alternate Twilight yelled in defiance, although there was obvious panic on her face.

"Tell me something..." Phil's eyes were redder than before. His pupils also grew smaller. "Do you remember Princess Cadence Notevil Goodpony? The one good soul you heartlessly killed before she gave her life and power to me? Her technical son?"

"THAT dumb pony?!" Alternate Twilight yelled. "More like Princess STUPID! She got in my way and I hated her and...and...NO....NO...NO!"

Too late. He had already had his teeth shredding into her chest. Blood and guts fell to the floor as he ripped and tore through her screaming body.

"NOOOOOOOAAAAAAUUUGH!!!!" She cried out as she was feasted upon by the monster. "SOMEBODY...HEEEELP MEEEEEEE!!! HEEEEELP MEEEEE!!!! HEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAUGHHHHHH-"

CRUNCH!

With that, there was no more of Alternate Twilight but blood and guts on the floor and Phil's teeth. A moment passed before he spat out the horn.

"That...was the best food I've had in a while." He said.

"....Okay." Sixshot said as he too rose from the rubble. "I guess we could say we did it. Not that I care anymore."

"I'm sure Celestia will accept the horn as confirmation." Circe said as Swelter picked up said horn.

"Talk about poetic justice!" Swelter said.

"I would have done the job myself, but Phil did it in style!" Visceral said before giving him a playful wink. Phil just blushed, if that was even possible.

"I think it's time we cashed that bounty." Glacius said. "Then, we should take a long rest."

"I agree." Sixshot said. "I need a chill pill, on the other hand."

"Hey, Sixshot!" Rick called out as his friends tried to get what they just saw out of their heads. "We cool?"

"Well, I blew you up and one of my teammates killed another Twilight, so...yeah. I guess we're cool." Sixshot rubbed the back of his head before he was tail-whipped by Circe. "OW! What?!"

"Apologize to the real Twilight." She asked kindly.

"Fine." He groaned. "I'm sorry for trying to kill you when I should have done that to the other you. You happy?"

"Please don't do that again." Twilight asked.

"No promises. Although eating our enemies isn't exactly on our priority list." Sixshot responded. "Anyway, we're off to this version of Canterlot. Don't follow." He gave a salute before his Minicons reattached themselves to him and he flew into the sky.

"Until we meet again." Circe said before following.

"Same here." Visceral nodded before she followed suit.

"Tallyho!" Phil said before taking to the sky. F.I.S.T had left.

"So...who's up for a burger?" Dash asked.

"A what now?" Thundercracker asked.

A few moments later...

BZIT!

Our heroes were now back home. Sir, who had been crushed by some anvils that appeared randomly over his head during the chaos, had brought them back. All was well, now.

"Whoo! Never thought I'd be happy to see this library again!" Dash exclaimed.

"It feels rather refreshing." Rarity agreed. "My sister must have been worried sick!"

"Same here." Applejack said. "Let's try to leave this out of their heads."

"Awwww, but I wanted to tell them about how we traveled across the Multiverse!" Pinkie complained.

"I don't think they would want to know about the killer you." Fluttershy said.

"Point made." Pinkie said." Ah, what the heck. We're home!"

"Hey, guys!" Spike came down. His expression turned to one of relief to one of utter confusion. "Uh...something feels...different."

Twilight, though glad to see her assistant in one piece, realized she was still in her Maelstrom form. "This..." She said nervously as she suddenly transformed back into her normal form, a bit more tired than usual. "...is a long story."

"Yeah. A mix of an adventure with a nightmare." Rick said as they took a walk outside. "I got reduced to a head as you can see."

"Um, is it me or did we forget something?" Fluttershy asked.

"I'm pretty sure we resolved the conflict back there." Rarity said.

"Yeah." Rick agreed. "Thank Unicron everything's back to nor-"

SMAAAAASH!

In the distance, a whole island fell in the distance from a portal. Everyponypaid close attention to it. In front of them, a sign fell right on its stand.

'Keep-Away Island' it wrote.

The Mane 6 and the dragons just looked at each-other. Rick's mouth opened to speak first.

"....WHAT. THE. FU-"

THE END

(A better version of the credits will soon be available on Youtube)

Cast:

Sir-Himself
Twilight Sparkle, Undead Empress Twilight, Ambassador Twilight, and Empress Twilight-Tara Strong
Rainbow Dash and Applejack-Ashleigh Belle
Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Pinkamena-Andrea Libman
Rarity-Tabitha St. Germain
Rick-Josh Phillips
Thundercracker-John Stephenson
Alternate Twilight, Midnight Sparkle, Alternate Dash, Alternate Pinkie Pie, Alternate Fluttershy, Alternate Rarity, Alternate Applejack, Alternate Spike, and Alternate Apple Bloom-Jenny Nicholson
Kalameet-Chris Jai Alex
Drocsid-Andrew Chaikin
Sishot-Steve Blum
Circe-Estelle Ellis
Visceral-Bridget Fonda
Phillip-Darin De Paul
Swelter-Robbie Rist
Glacius-Yuri Lowenthal
Alternate Sweetie Belle and Francis Sparkle-Griffin Lewis
Alternate Scootaloo-Rhianna Berquist
Princess Cadence Notevil Goodpony, Alternate Diamond Tiara, and Alternate Silver Spoon-Sherclop Pones
Lord Discord-Max Gilardi
Spike-Cathy Weseluck
Titan-Tony Daniels
Eru-Maria Bamford

Music

Headquarters-Mii Channel Theme
Title-Friendship is Witchcraft Intro Theme
Portal Device-Screw on the Loose from Ren and Stimpy
Alternate Equestria-Tom Fool from Ren and Stimpy
Vs. Kalameet and Drocsid-Believe from Breaking Benjamin
The Dungeon-Sandy Badlands from Final Fantasy 7
The Brew-Omen from Taioo
A Talk with Kalameet/Drocsid-Firelink Shrine from Dark Souls
The Mysterious Strangers Vs. The Zombies-Praise Be To Decepticon from JAM Project
F.I.S.T-Character Select from Killer Instinct 2013
Sixshot's Story-19 Years from BobGmbH
Spike and Kalameet-Crepuscularity from Re:Make
I'm Evil and I Know It-I'm Sexy and I Know It (Instrumental) from LMFAO
Rick and Dash's Ordeal-Fragment #3 from Sinister
Rick Breaks Everyone Out-Kid Buu from Dragonball Xenoverse
Thundercracker in the Sky-Seeker Theme from Transformers: Devastation
F.I.S.T Arrives-Character Select Theme from Killer Instict
Kart Chasing-Guido Mista from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Eyes of Heaven
Pinkamena-Phantom from Myuu
Kalameet.MOV-Katharsis from Dragonball Raging Blast 2
Conversion Bureau-Cosmic Battle from Dragonball Raging Blast 2
Empress Twilight-Tense Atmosphere from Dragonball Raging Blast
Thundercracker’s Little Dashie-Rainbow Accoustic Cover from piloiski
Cadence's Death-After the Storm from Miika Mettiainen
Start of the Universe-League of Legends Violins from Taylor Davis
Rick Vs. Sixshot-Failure from Breaking Benjamin
Battle Aftermath-Iridescent Violin Cover from ViolinJacklo
Lord Smooze Awakens-Uchiha Mudara from Naruto Shippuden
The Battle Against Lord Smooze-The Bird and the Worm Instrumental from The Used
Alternate Spike's Death-Requiem from Stardust Crusaders (2014)
Midnight Sparkle-Carmeaty Burana from Super Meat Boy
Portal Madness-Edge of Infinity (Minnesota Remix) from Warsongs
Twilight Transforms-Closer to the Truth (Version 2) from Cryoshell
Maelstrom Twilight Vs. F.I.S.T-Hyper DBZ Theme from 94Stones
Maelstrom Twilight Vs. Midnight Sparkle-Angel With a Shotgun from The Cab
The Town is Saved-Gochuumon wa Usagi Desu ka? from Marioverehrer
Phil's Revenge-The Deadly Mantis Trailer Theme
Credits Theme 1-Nanatsu No Taizai by NateWantsToBattle
Credits Theme 2-Dare from Stan Bush
Stinger Theme-Alien Trailer Theme

Nothing except all OCs and alterations I made to preexisting characters belong to me

Dedicated to Lauren Faust, and all the hardworking people at MLP and their dedicate fans

Meanwhile...in the beginning of the Universe...

As the titans of metal fought more, they took notice of the asteroids around them. Aside from their fighting, there was nothing but cold silence.

Until a horrible shriek-like noise began to the fill the air. On one asteroid, there was something awful left behind from this whole adventure.

It was the stone. Just laying there. Forgotten.

And then it cracked. Then it cracked some more. It kept cracking until it was completely broken.

Black goop seeped out of it and oozed around the asteroid until it started to recede. It started to form a large stalk. A bulbous end completed.

Said bulbous end began to shake and shiver violently...

...until a single red reptilian eye instantly formed and opened.

The roar/shriek it let out almost gave the gods pause. A literal Nightmare was born...

See You Soon!
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MegaD3's avatar
I laugh at the end.